depressing doctor

so i’ve been watching doctor who for the past week and the ninth doctor just died. and got replaced. and kind of ripped my heart out. he was so cute and smiley with his big ears and nose and little jumper that he was so obsessed with and I DON’T LIKE CHANGE! people have told me that the doctors get better with time and i’ll probably be more attached to the next one, but i am attached to the ninth as of now. I LIKED HIM. and i don’t think it was time to get rid of him. grr. anyway. that is my rant. i will continue watching the new doctor now.

and no, i’m not changing my desktop background from the ninth doctor and rose to the tenth doctor and rose until i am satisfied with the new doctor. THERE.

melancholy

so i am home. and it’s weird. i mean, i love it. i love being in my own bed and with my parents and with my cat, but that all makes me not want to go back to school. i had a dream last night where it was the first day of school and i felt exactly like i did at the beginning of fall last year: crappy. and i never have the urge to feel that way ever again. and i woke up and i was freakishly nervous. I HATE THAT FEELING. i’d rather stick a knife in my leg every day instead of feeling that way. yes, i just referenced vampire diaries. yes, you are terribly misinformed if you don’t know what that is. anyway, i just thought i’d share my thoughts on this subject. i know it’ll be fine. at least i’ve told myself that thousands of times. but i still can’t help myself from wondering. it’ll be the first year without amy, without my roomate from last year (mallory - she’s gonig to india for the first semester) and i’m not sure i’m okay with that. and i really don’t like transitions. i’d be fine to just ignore the first couple weeks and jump into consciousness once i’m all settled and everything, but the process of settling in worries me. i need to stop being so anxious. it runs in the family. 

so now my mom’s at church baking pies (i didn’t want to go because i already went on tuesday and she left at like 8 this morning. ew) and my sister and dad are sleeping. i don’t even want to play sims. WHAT. i know. i really want to write more than 2 paragraphs in a story, but i am seriously uninspired. i try to write and i’m good for about 20 minutes, then i come back to the story and i think it’s crap. grr. 

this has been very depressing. i shall find something exciting to say. it is supposed to be nice tomorrow and this weekend. maybe i can go somewhere exciting. like hang out with my friend kristen. she just graduated high school and all my besties are going to a friend of ours’ wedding in utah. i can’t go because i don’t have a job yet and that means to money to fund it. gross, i know. i shall call kristen or someone who i haven’t seen in a while. yes. that will help.

sayounara

oh i also got a tumblr. wickedmystery

i should probably update this

things have happened since my last post. like i moved home and finished my freshman year at gustavus. yeah, it's weird, but it's nice too. i just need to get a job. i have applied more than 30 places and apparently everyone hates me so i'm not getting hired. oh well. the dollar tree is my last resort because rae says they're still hiring and they pretty much hired her on the spot.
anyway. i have spent the last couple hours watching nerimon's vlogs on youtube and have decided that it would be fun to start vlogging except that I SUCK AT IT. i suck at talking to a camera and seeming candid and being all delightful and fun to listen to. i am kind of charming in real life and on paper, but for some reason i get all nervous when i think i'm being taped. tips to get over that…..
and that's my life for now.
gotta go hug my cat or something

okay then

so my grandma passed away today. my dad's mom. and she's old, like really old. so it's not a heartbreaking thing for her to pass on. she was old and in a nursing home and her husband's dead and so are most of her friends. but when my sister told me and then we hung up, i started crying. really crying. just sitting there at my desk and sobbing. i don't understand this. i'm not a psych major.  i don't think this is normal. but i suppose it makes sense. even if i didn't want to spend much time on her death, i still loved her to pieces. even though we weren't really close, i knew she loved me and i loved seeing her. she was incredibly nice and thought the most important thing in life was education. she even joked about me an my sister being in school when her funeral was held, and that we could just "put her on a shelf and deal with her in summer." i think i will go to the funeral, unless something crazy pressing comes up. i was like this when my mom's dad died in my sophomore year of high school. i was totally bent on not going to the funeral and staying at home while my whole family went to kansas. i was basically a jerk. i thought that it wasn't important to go to my grandpa's funeral because we weren't close and it was far away and i would miss a lot of school. well boo on me. i missed school, but it was completely bearable. once i was there, i realized how much it meant to my mom that i was there, even if she didn't say it. so i'll go to my grandma's funeral, even if it's during finals week. hey, i'm stuck here until my sister graduates. might as well do something that keeps me busy.

we built this city on rock and roll

what? something exciting happened this weekend? OH YEAH THERE WAS THIS KICKASS CONCERT THAT I HELPED SET UP AND TOOK A PICTURE WITH THE BAND AND HAD AN AWESOME TIME. yeah, i remember.
as you can probably gather, i had a fantastic weekend. i spent 12 hours in the campus center setting up for the band and falling over because i got ice on my shoes form being outside and chilling on the couches with the cabbies and jumping around to cedar avenue and quietdrive and taking all the stuff down and putting it in vans.

i probably had the best weekend i've had this year. i absolutely love cab. it was so much fun. and we fooled around and got to know each other (the cabbbies and i) and made jokes and…..ahh. it was wonderful. i love being a part of things. and on another happy note, i spent the whole day with this really awesome guy. and now i can stop trying to think of things to say to him because i've actually talked to him and he's as cool as i thought he was. i also made a couple girl friends who seem really nice. GOD I LOVE CAB.

me

and so it's wednesday

i am currently on one of the couches outside the caf waiting for the cab meeting to start. i'm quite excited. the quietdrive.cedar avenue concert is this saturday and i get to set up and strike! i really like being on this committee. WHOOOOOOO!
today was gross and rainy. but the grass and flowers are happy.
i took pics for the weekly today. also yesterday. i sat on the uhler chairs outside with mary and creeped on people who were nicely dressed for our article about spring fashion. it was freaking awesome, yo! mary's a great person. and so is the sun. happy day.

i have the meeting, then swing at 9.
OH!
i am declaring my major as soon as i get my english advisor to sign my form and figure out who my art advisor is going to be! soon it'll be official and not just a dream!
hold on to your hats, people. my life is finally coming together.

sprintime business

i am very excited for spring. and summer. and NO SCHOOOOOOL. being home for spring break in the nice weather has made it feel like summer and i really don't want to go back to school. like, really. REALLY REALLY. it will be fine once i'm there and in the swing of things, but i hate transitions. i want to stay here!
but break has been fantastic. having amy here, at least for part of the week, was really awesome. i miss hanging out with her just our family.
this is pretty short. but i wanted to write something about spring break.
2 months left!

peace

so i've decided what i want to do with my life. well, at least my college career. i am going to be an english major (duh) and an art minor (or major if i find the time). i am absolutely in love with photography, and i want to get better at it. i want to actually take badass film pictures instead of pointing and shooting at something pretty. yes, i love my awesome digital camera, but it's pretty self explanatory. i want to learn about lighting and shutter speeds and such. i want to be good!
so excited!
so there are only two photo classes her at gustavus. there's a film on and a digital one. the digital one would be awesome, because then i could take it and not have to buy a new camera since i already have a digital one. but it's also from 1:30 to 4:20, which doesn't exactly float my boat. i would like to be done with classes earlier than that. but hey, if it comes down to that or buying a new camera for the film class, i'll probably sacrifice some of my day 2 days a week. not a big deal.

i'm excited about this. i've always wanted to become an art major, but i never thought i was good enough. i can paint and draw and such, but i'm not drop dead amazing. it's fun, but i'm not satisfied with most of the stuff i do. but with photography, i can get better and better and i'm actually pretty decent now, so it wouldn't be such a struggle to learn more about it.
AAAAH!
that is my thought process.
also, i am loving swing club. we learned blues dancing last night (like norml swing dancing but super close and slow) and it was so much fun. awkward, but fun. it's so much easier to follow what your partner's doing if you're closer, but that also opens up the awkward moments box. but i learned a lot and can now dance swing dancing to a slow song! score.
ALSO
spring break is tomorrow. i could not be more excited.
TATA!

a better monday than usual

well i woke up late today. like, really late. like, 10 minutes before i had to leave for class. but i made it. go me.
my orchestra director had his second child on friday, so we don't have orchestra tonight. score! he sent us pictures via e-mail and his kid is super cute. i'm jealous. i want a kid to dress up and walk around and hold hands with and then drop them off when they poop.
i have lots of things to do this week. midterms are great, ya know. i have a project for my lit class that i really need to get crackin on. and i have an essay due on friday. and a midterm on friday. and then it's home! i'm so excited. i haven't been home since january. i miss my cat and my bed and everything. i can't remember if i wrote about this last time i wrote a blog, but too bad. i wanna go home. i love school and everything, but home is delightful and i want to see my friends and just chill.

 

pball was on saturday. i have missed school dances so much! i love getting dressed up and dancing around, especially to oldies music. i had a lot of fun with meh friend beka and my sister. my cousin melissa also came to pball with us. i miss her! it was really fun to have her, my aunt and uncle and my grandma. they almost never come to minnesota! i showed them my room and the campus. so much fuuuuun.
anyway, that is good for now i suppose. i don't anticipate anything really exciting between now and the end of the day. but if it does, i will let you know!
tata!

for starters

my name is laura. i am a freshman in college.
fantastic, isn't it?
now i know not many people (if any) will actually sit down and read this thing, but i'm putting it out there. not necessarily for the public eye, but for me.
i wrote in a journal at least every week at the beginning of the school year, and it was really interesting to look back on. i was going through a hard time with the whole "adjusting to life without your parents and cushy bed and cat" thing, and so i thought it would be cool to write down my thoughts and look back on them and see how far i've come. well i did, and it was really cool. except i stopped writing once i felt better. which has been this whole j-term and first semester.
i need to get caught up.

my life is good. i would say my best friend here is mariecus. she and i watch bones a lot and talk and eat dinner together. she might transfer next year (she's leaning on staying here though) so that bums me out a little. i got over it once i decided to room with elizabeth.
elizabeth is a dazzling person. she's short, blonde and super energetic. she reminds me a little of my high school bestie hailey. she didn't have a person to live with sophomore year either (since i was planning on rooming with mariecus but she wouldn't make up her mind about the school she wanted to attend) so i offered my awesome roommate services. yay!
we're planning on living in sorensen next year, which is one of the main sophomore dorms. i'm super excited.
mallory, my current roommate, is bugging the hell out of me.
but that's just because i haven't had a break in a while. i'm just going a little stir crazy and all her stupid ways are starting to dawn on me again like they did before the last break.
she's really insensitive, and criticizes me when i get offended at something. something like her eating a clementine and me not wanting her to and her getting mad because i wouldn't let her eat one. she also needs to get over herself. she's all upset because not a lot of people in the section like her. but that's mainly because SHE'S NEVER HERE. she complains that no one wants to hang out with her, but she also never makes herself available. if she stayed here once in a while, she would most definitely get invited to dinner or a hockey game or something.
whatever.
i need to stop ranting and go read my book.
(mockingjay)
FOR PLEASURE.
so excited.
talk to you sometime next week,
laura badorara