okay then

so my grandma passed away today. my dad's mom. and she's old, like really old. so it's not a heartbreaking thing for her to pass on. she was old and in a nursing home and her husband's dead and so are most of her friends. but when my sister told me and then we hung up, i started crying. really crying. just sitting there at my desk and sobbing. i don't understand this. i'm not a psych major.  i don't think this is normal. but i suppose it makes sense. even if i didn't want to spend much time on her death, i still loved her to pieces. even though we weren't really close, i knew she loved me and i loved seeing her. she was incredibly nice and thought the most important thing in life was education. she even joked about me an my sister being in school when her funeral was held, and that we could just "put her on a shelf and deal with her in summer." i think i will go to the funeral, unless something crazy pressing comes up. i was like this when my mom's dad died in my sophomore year of high school. i was totally bent on not going to the funeral and staying at home while my whole family went to kansas. i was basically a jerk. i thought that it wasn't important to go to my grandpa's funeral because we weren't close and it was far away and i would miss a lot of school. well boo on me. i missed school, but it was completely bearable. once i was there, i realized how much it meant to my mom that i was there, even if she didn't say it. so i'll go to my grandma's funeral, even if it's during finals week. hey, i'm stuck here until my sister graduates. might as well do something that keeps me busy.